Getting Ranked: Not At This Rate

Getting Ranked: Not At This Rate 0001

To say I dropped off the pace last week in my rankings challenge is an understatement of epic proportions, but it was not my fault at all. I know lots of people who immediately pass the book when matters do not pan out the way they intended but honestly governor, my complete lack of volume was not down to me.

Instead the book has to stop with my not-so-trusty Toshiba laptop, which is about as useful as male stripper at a nun's convention. It is broken, kaput, out of service, not fully functioning or f&$ked depending on when you ask me about it. And to make me even more frustrated it is only two months old; in fact it is two month's old today!

The reason I chose the Toshiba was because my previous two machines have been by the same manufacturer and I certainly received value for money from them both. My last Tosh' was a refurbished unit and cost me the princely sum of just £300. It was never going to win any awards for ability - but it was never intended to - but it was powered on for an average of 15 hours per day, every day, for three years before it started to go wrong. In fact that particular one started to go haywire during EPT Berlin and this new one was purchased to replace it upon my return to the good old UK. I should have spent my money on something else.

Something has not been right about it since day one. Periodically I would receive an error message telling me the Desktop Manager has crashed and then my Holdem Manager 2 (HEM2) software would randomly shutdown, but I put both of these problems down to HEM2 as many users have suffered problems with it. Then last week my machine gave me the dreaded Blue Screen Of Death (BSOD), which I now know is 99% a hardware fault or software incompatibility problem. It turned out to be the former. "Both 4GB RAM chips were faulty so we replaced them," said the technician who told me (after having my machine for three days) my machine would be like new. He lied. Within half hour of returning home and firing up my "like new" machine it made a small click and then turned off. It did not shut down. It simply turned off, dead. "Weird," I thought as I rebooted. Then it happened again, causing me to lose an article I had been writing, then a third time before I called the shop back.

As you would expect the customer support team were apologetic but saying sorry does not help me get my work done or play any poker. They told me to drop off my machine over the weekend or on Monday and they would test it thoroughly for me but if they could not fine the problem or it was something serious then they would have to return the blasted thing to Toshiba where it could take up to 28 days for them to repair it! FML. My fears are that it is serious because after I had finished talking on the phone I fired up my machine to see a load of red squares appear on the screen as it failed to boot. Then when I did get it to load, after ten minutes of typing or installing updates, the screen turned into a mess of lines that flashed rapidly; the signs of a fried graphics card. The problem with this particular model is the video / graphics is integrated with the motherboard so the whole shebang needs to be replaced and I seriously doubt the store, who gave me a massive 28-day warranty, are going to want to replace everything so it looks like my machine is going to be shipped off to Toshiba-land for repairs.

So I have been using my Mrs' machine for the past week and I just cannot get used to it at all. Down the left hand side of the keyboard, where the shift key is on my laptop, is a key that sends a document to print. Guess what I have pressed at least 50 times in the past two days?! And to make matters worse there is another key to burn something to CD. I mean how common is burning CDs that it warrants it's own bloody button? Seriously. Anyone who uses a computer for any extended period of time will have experienced similar problems when using a different machine. Your own keyboard is like your favourite pair of pants, your side of the bed or your comfortable chair. It just feels right. You know where everything is and how everything feels.

I could play some poker on the Mrs' laptop but to do so I have to sit at the opposite end of the sofa as the power cable does not reach the usual plug socket I use with my own machine plus the screen resolution is higher so the tables tile ever-so-slightly differently and these two problems just put me on life-tile before I even sit down at the virtual felt. I have played some poker though, I cashed in a $7 buy-in 180-man sit 'n' go (final table bubbled to be exact) that does not count towards rankings and cashed in a $3,000 guaranteed $2.20 rebuy on iPoker but that is it. I am considering trying to play some MTTs on the PokerStars App on my iPad but you can only play five tables and have one table on display at any one time so that could be quite tilting too. We will see.

It is Sod's Law that I suffer from a malfunctioning computer just as I get the urge and return of confidence needed to climb out of my little downswing. Here's to this week going more to play than the last.

Goals For The Coming Week

  • Do not break any more electronics
  • Stop pressing print
  • Stop trying to burn CDs
  • Play some iPad poker
  • Win
World Ranking StartCurrent World RankingUK Ranking StartCurrent UK RankingLocal Ranking StartCurrent Local Ranking
5,4815,669 (-188)534/1874544/1884 (-10)17/3916/39 (+1)

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