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Matt Broughton's Adventures in Poker Land

Matt Broughton's Adventures in Poker Land 0001

Each article I shall be quite literally writing whatever trivial thoughts falls out of my brain, and I hope you'll enjoy coming along for the ride. I like to think I take 'artistic license' to a new level, so don't be shocked to find me making up stories wholesale, or at least kicking truth around the room until it vaguely resembles something 'funny'. Good luck making sense of it all!

Multi-Tilting™

I find tilting is a phenomenon generally misunderstood by non-poker players. Visions fill their heads of PC monitors being thrown though windows, keyboards snapped in half, and large quantities of laptops heaped in a landfill somewhere just outside of Birmingham.

If tilting were just about venting your anger we'd all be fine. You could just hang some punch bags or sides of beef near your PC and then just beat the crap out of them every time some fish hits a two-outer for all your bankroll.

Sadly tilting can be probably more costly than the bad beat that sent us tilting in the first place. Tilting isn't just a slap of the forehead; it's a slap of the "raise with 10-Q off suit", or a slap of the CALL CALL CALL CALL CALL CALL through all the streets to discover that your opponent DID have quads after all.

What to do? Well here's a thought: take your tilt to another table.

Yes… MULTI-TILTING! (Matt Broughton ©2008)

Multi-Tilting is a practice that allows you to tilt on one table, while remaining calm, beautiful, and totally Zen on another.

The theory is VERY simple. Let's imagine your usual game is the £0.50/£1 table. Open your tables, take your seat and commence play. MEANWHILE, open a second table that you really couldn't care less about - perhaps a 10-seater 10c/20c game that you only bother with if you have AA (or KK on a non-ace flop). Now ignore that table entirely. Yes, you're being charged a whopping $0.30 every orbit or the table, but that's just TILT TAX, and if you do happen to hit a big hand on this table, you could be looking at a profit of perhaps three to four dollars over the course of a few hours. IMPORTANT: DO NOT be tempted to actually play on this table.

Fast forwarding through time, let's now assume that some sod/fish has just rivered you with a miracle straight. As one would expect, steam parps from your ears, profanities not heard since biblical times issue forth from your swear hole, and you have a burning desire to press your mouse into his face hard enough to leave an imprint.

BUT WAIT! You're future is safe, because thanks to Multi-Tilting™ you now need only control your rage long enough to reach across with your furious, vibrating hand to press the button that switches between tables. The $0.50/$1 table becomes your background game, while the 10c/20c game becomes your tilt-ridden battleground.

Now you can go ahead and vent your rage like a lunatic! Raise UTG with J4o! Call with pocket 8s while there are two kings, an ace and 4 spades on board. VALUE HANDS LIKE 9-2!! Go crazy and enjoy your tilt. Chances are it'll only cost you a couple of dollars (rather than a couple of hundred dollars) and the cost of letting your main game tick over in the background is a mere fraction of the losses you'd enjoy if you were freaking out on that table.

Don't thank me; thank Multi-Tilting™.

"NEWS": Moneymaker less capable than his own watch

Colleagues of former WSOP champion say that Chris Moneymaker, 32, is less capable in his day to day activities than his own wrist watch.

Fellow pro Greg Raymer has worked along-side Moneymaker for the past two years, and told me: "It's sad to see someone get outperformed by their own watch, but there's no denying that this watch has about three times as many features as Chris."

The watch, a Suunto Vector, was a Christmas gift from Chris' parents, and delivers flawless precision and style, standing in sharp contrast to Moneymaker; a man with neither a scratch proof face, nor the ability to withstand a depth of 100 feet underwater.

More stories next month. TTFN

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