Catman's Column - The Betfair Million Dollar Game

Forget the sex, drugs and rock n roll bullshit our poker star twatter about 'not', pokers most celebrated commentator comes to you from the 'Ibiza of Silence,' The Swiss Alps. A land where musical cows with bells actually walk on the street, and natures spiritual delights piss on Vegas.

Ricardo Bloch Pr Guru at Betfair Poker and his top Poker Team understand the value of giving to get. The company is offering numerous satellites to WSOPE most with great overlay value, all of which we are playing out here with the cows.

It is hard to beat the Betfair Free Million Dollar Game, 18 players from around the world will play live for $1,000,000 first prize. So off I toddled to Wembley Fecking Stadium to watch a regional live heat, get a tour of the stadium and of paramount importance, stuff my face. 36 players from around the world, (2 regional finals of 18) shit lucky and of course talented biatches ('biatches' complimentary as in Swag Players).The winner of each heat gets a Million Dollars to Bus Fare Odds ticket to a final event seat, if they didn't bunk on the bus.

Winner Betfair player Mark Heathfield : "This year I withdrew all my winning's and was playing Free rolls only. I beat 108 players in a regional final to come to Wembley. Next step is the 17th Sept 2009 WSOPE Million Dollar Final. Catman it was close, I had to make a massive choice to play this event, it was my other half's 50th birthday. Yes she still does want to kill me."

Poker or the Mrs, a simple choice or was it, lol.
Poker is about making difficult or very simple choices, depending on your nature. A vital component being how well you can sense danger, this can be developed or an inherited second sense intuition. Added to decision making from amassing all the clues and information given to you during the game, all unsaid words that say 'Don't walk into danger.'

There is a lot to be learnt from danger and understanding it, for this point I have related some of my fond real civilian life adventures, to poker decisions.

Question 1 – Are you the sucker ?
Walking down the street you see a gang of Hoodies ahead, on the same side of the road as you, what do you do?
A) Walk straight past them?
B)Call your mum?
C) Cross the road?

C-If you did not cross the road you simply have no sense of danger or own an AK as in 47. Change your style, unless you 'is' Sammy G or Luke FullFlush Schwartz.

More to think about:

At 14 yrs, some 30 years ago, I got promoted from cloakroom boy/ toilet cleaner to doorman of a newly opened disco called Hombre De Bahia. The boss had been misguided by my recently broken nose into thinking that I was a Karate expert. The odds were always truly stacked against me.

Like a Poker game, my survival was based around brilliant/stupid on the spot decision-making, and even more luck.

Question Two – Going All in
Standing on the door, you politely knock back a group of 4, pleasant, non-gang/drug related 18 yr olds for the simple reason that the club has closed. 3 minutes later a Mini is driven thro the plate glass window you are standing behind. On trotting back up the stairs you just jumped down, you find your 18 stone Jamaican boss (Picture any Tarrantino Film) holding one young youth in the air by his throat, do you:

A) Go All in, let your demonic boss batter the youths to pulp.
B) Do you consider your future desire to go to medical school and offer first aid and symy.
C)Do you shout to your boss to Feck off, where was he when you were nearly killed. Take the 4 shaking pieces of jelly downstairs and have a quiet chat, whilst awaiting their parents?

Answer C – Now is the time for a value bet, I truly screwed their heads up by sparing their heads, gaining maximum value for the next hand. Moral, never take the game personally, make the right bet and you will win a lot more.

Question 3 – When to check raise
You are in seriously moody rave club under the arches somewhere in South London. Your boss, Double World Super MiddleWeight Boxing Champion, Nigel Benn utters the words " Follow me out," to you in a manner that almost causes you to shat yourself.

You are confronted by four leading members of The ICF (West Ham Gang), you know there are many more scattered around, two are scarred up, two with hands in the back pockets. Dressed in a pin stripe suit, playing role of pretend minder, in a den of pure scum do you:

A)Scream for help to Ex British Heavy Weight Boxing Champ Gary Mason who has told you he will be watching your back?
B) Reach into your inside suit pocket for your brick mobile phone to say bye to your mum. Mr Scarface one notices your moves, and mutters something, you reply in your best cockney " 'Ease of, I will use it' (e.g. mobile phone they think is a gun)?
C) Do you run, knowing there will be 20 more ICF watching this from background?

Easy answer B, the check raise is an awesome weapon, it feels great to win a pot you are destined to lose.

Question 4 -"Hold'em or Fold'em?'
You are a celeb style nightclub boss. You get a call from the real life Mafia telling you not to go into your club, they need to sort some business out. 5 minutes later your manager named George calls you, 8 of 'The * Team are here, with that Hit man Ben the doorman pissed off are in the club. They have Ben in the VIP and the police are outside with sharpshooters. Do you:

A)Sit in your car and call some friendly police officer's who are outside, stay away and arrive on hearing the coast is clear?
B)Do you storm your own club with a team of ex SAS hard men?
C)Do you weep?

Easy answer, play Kenny Roger's the Gambler, time and time again and you will know the right answer is A, period. On top of that Ben was an ungrateful disrespectful slob. You have got to follow the whole game from flop to river, to know when it is an easy fold.

Poker players with the correct answers will receive a cuddly toy at WSOP Europe and of course your picture to appear in my column, posing with any poker celebrity you wish.

All answers via Facebook to catman.catman.

Next week, I am off to Norway to see Per Hagen, super Poker agent and mucker, I am looking for a piece of the action and to right a feature on 2 of the hottest young guns in poker: Alex "AJKHoosier1" Kamberis and David "Doc Sands." Alex was Online Player of the Year 2008 and has earned close to $3 million. The Doc holds the world record for most online Sunday major victories with 8 wins and $1.5million in tournament winnings Naturally, I will take The Better Looking Catgirl along to whip some ass, if these two hot looking dudes are in town.

By the way, never but never go on one of those high wire things over a Swiss Forrest.

Peace and Happiness from Europe's Luckiest Poker Agent

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